Open the vents and step back! Here I am, FIVE HOURS after I had planned to start my day, in my underwear and a shirt, getting ready to go out and start my errands. Quite obviously, I've missed yoga.

Why am I five hours late, you might ask? Brian and I went to bed late, so he slept in while I went to class. When I came home, I laid down again, planning to get up around noon and get started. Instead I wake up around two-forty-five. This is okay. I needed the sleep and I really enjoyed laying around with Brian.

But now its time to get up. I have many things to do, most of which have time limits on them. Yoga at four, signing my lease before five (which means before three-thirty since yoga lasts for an hour), and then squeezing in everything else I need to do without feeling horribly rushed.

I make a couple of attempts to get up, all of which are thwarted. This is somewhat okay.. I enjoy laying around, whatever. Then I get hungry and suddenly there's a third thing to squeeze into forty-five minutes. I realize there's no suitable "pre-workout" food in the apartment, am still trying to get Brian to let me out of bed, and Erica's heading out to sign her lease. I manage to head out with Erica and we get that all taken care of. Only now its three-fifty and all I've had to eat are Nilla Wafers. I'm not gonna make it to Yoga.

Brian encourages me to do a lot of things, like take up my programming again, get my A+, and go to Yoga and Pilates. He also tells me that I can tell him I need a day to work and that he won't mind. He teases me about the fact that I haven't done my laundry in a while, teases me when I haven't shaved or had time to take a shower, and tells me I should do my homework and go to class.

How the fuck am I supposed to do any of these things when telling him I have to leave now to go do something, or that I need to get up and do work makes him either pout (which makes me feel bad and feel like I need to stay and make him happy so I leave him with a smile) or makes him pull me closer, thus frustrating me even while I enjoy being close to him?

I would be saying this to him instead of writing it here, but I don't really trust myself right now. I'm very aggravated, especially since he PROMISED me that today I'd be able to do my stuff and I don't want to be angry when I talk to him. However, if I cool down about it, then its just not worth dealing with at the time.

I kind of want to go lay out by the pool with Erica, but I have too much to do, and Brian has my bathing suit.

Over.
-shae  ¶ 16:00